


late

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: I'm Venting Lads, Insomnia, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oikawa Has BPD, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-16 22:16:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9291821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Oikawa stays up late thinking of Iwaizumi, not knowing Iwaizumi does the same with him.





	

The only light in the room came from the red numbers on the alarm clock. Oikawa’s eyes read over them over and over. 4:13. He read them out loud, his lips curving and pulling around them. So late. Or early. He never knew when the crossover point was. All he knew was that he kept doing this. Staying up. Not sleeping.

He knew it wasn’t healthy, especially because of his volleyball, but he couldn’t stop. It was peaceful at times, when there was no one else. Just the dark room and the stars outside. Oikawa figured that he should stop romanticizing insomnia, but it helped. Finding beauty in stupid things like not sleeping is what made life livable. Now he was romanticizing romanticizing. Ridiculous. He laughed at himself. 

His phone vibrated next to his head. He looked over as the screen lit up. He squinted at the small words, sighing when he realized it was only a Twitter notification. He sighed again when he saw his lockscreen. He wished he would change it. But he either kept forgetting or he had no energy to. 

He stared at Iwaizumi’s scowl on his screen before clicking his phone off and tossing it away. Oikawa buried his face into his pillow and breathed in. The air was dense and smelled like spit and his cologne. He turned his head when the breathing became too hard, his eyes trained on the plain wall of his room. 

“Stupid Iwa-chan,” he muttered. He folded his arms up and into his chest. Holding himself close. “Perfect Iwa-chan.” 

He thought about what Iwaizumi would say to him staying up every night. He thought about what he would say to Oikawa staying up every night because he was thinking about him. _Stupid_ , Oikawa thought. But a smile pulled at his lips at the thought of Iwaizumi’s blush. _He would look so pretty like that. Flustered and smiling._

He sighed and turned so he was lying on his bed. His phone buzzed again against his leg. He ignored it this time. He pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs. Oikawa sat there in the darkness of his room, letting his thoughts drift, hoping at some point that sleep with come. 

His phone buzzed again. Then again. 

Oikawa sighed and let his legs fall back onto the mattress. He pulled his phone back up to himself, frowning at the screen. Iwaizumi’s name sat at the top of the text alert. 

> **are you up??** (4:23)  
> **i know its late** (4:25)  
> **but i can’t sleep** (4:25)

Oikawa furrowed his eyebrows and typed his response.

> **yeah im up** (4:25)

A moment passed before Iwaizumi’s bubble showed up.

> **can i call you?** (4:26)

Oikawa thought of his parents asleep downstairs.

> **yeah but we have to be quiet** (4:26)

He pushed his hair back and off his forehead. His phone lit up with Iwaizumi’s number, and Oikawa accepted the call. Oikawa turned on his side and pressed his phone against his ear.

“Hey.” His voice came out tired and small.

A breath and then, “Hey.” Iwaizumi’s voice was thick and slow. Oikawa couldn’t help but smile at the sound of him. A moment of silence passed between them. “Why are you up so late, Oikawa?”

Oikawa let out a small laugh. “Is that why you wanted to call me, Iwa-chan? To lecture me?”

Iwaizumi scoffed. “No. I just… I don’t know. It’s late and I figured talking might tire me out.” He paused. “And I like talking to you.”

 _Oh, God._ Oikawa thought. _Is he trying to kill me?_ “Yeah…” he said into the phone. He wanted to say something back. Something better than 'Yeah' but his mind felt like it was full of cotton. 

“I keep thinking.”

“About what?”

“I don’t know,” Iwaizumi said quietly. “Nothing. Everything." He paused. "Bullshit.”

Oikawa giggled at Iwaizumi's harsh tone. “Am I nothing or everything?” He cringed slightly at his question. What a bullshit thing to say.

"Both, I guess." Another pause. "More everything than nothing." 

Oikawa closed his eyes for a moment, letting Iwaizumi's words ring in his head. He opened them and replied, "Iwa-chan I think the exhaustion is getting to you. You're being sappy." 

Iwaizumi laughed. "So? Am I not allowed or something?" 

Oikawa bit his lip. He thought of Iwaizumi, and why being 'sappy' wasn't his style. He was strange. Harsh but caring, distant but close. He was complex in his own way. But also the simplest person Oikawa had ever met. "I don't know. I like it, though. It's nice." 

"Good." Silence, and then, "Oikawa tell me a story." 

Oikawa tried not to laugh. "Like a bed time story?" 

"No, just-" A sigh. "I don't know. I just want to hear you talk I guess. Get my mind off shit."

"Okay." Oikawa let out a breath. "Okay, so... uh, fuck- I don't know any stories." 

"Make one up, Oikawa. You're good at bullshit." 

Oikawa laughed. "Fuck off, Iwa-chan." 

Iwaizumi laughed with him and Oikawa felt his chest tighten. _He's so... Good. Perfect,_ Oikawa thought. _Just... Iwaizumi. My Iwaizumi._

"Tell me the story of us, Oikawa." 

Oikawa's brain was full of cotton again. "Okay," he said. It came out tiny and weak, like Iwaizumi had stolen his voice along with his stupid heart. "Past or present?" 

There was shuffling on Iwaizumi's end before he spoke. "Future. I already know our past, and the present is too much right now." 

Oikawa nodded, although Iwaizumi couldn't see. He picked at a snap in his sheets. "Well we're happy."

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah. We're happy and we're together." Oikawa paused and pressed his cold hand against his cheek. _Together._ Oikawa knew what together meant to him. He knew what saying that meant. And he knew that Iwaizumi didn't. "And you're... so amazing. You're strong and bright and you..." Oikawa pushed his hand up to his hair. His throat became tight. "You have someone and they're so-" Oikawa dropped the phone against his mattress and pressed his hands against his face. 

He could hear Iwaizumi calling his name, but it was muffled. It might've been the fact that his phone was buried in his pillow or that it felt like the room was closing in on him. 

"Oikawa?" 

"I'm fine." Oikawa rubbed his knuckles against his eyes. "I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine." He picked up the phone. "I'm fine." 

"Oikawa-" 

"I said I'm fine. I'm sorry I'm being... weird. Fuck, I know I'm being weird. It's late and I'm- Shit. The future is just scary and I hate thinking about it." He was crying now. "It's late." 

"Are you okay?" 

Oikawa let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes. "Yeah, Iwa-chan." 

"You don't sound okay." They were silent for a while. "I'm coming over." 

Oikawa's eyes snapped open. "What? No. You don't- I-It's-" 

"I'll be over in ten minutes." 

"Iwaizumi don't be stupid it's 5 AM and I'm _fine_ ," Oikawa said as he wiped his tear-streaked face with his blanket. 

There was a creaking noise over the phone, some shuffling, and then silence. "...Are you sure?" Iwaizumi's voice was soft. 

Oikawa pressed his lips together. He thought about how much he'd love to see him right now. How much he always wants to see him. He also thought about the future he had thought up. 'Happy' he had said. 'Happy and together' meant something different to Iwaizumi than it did to Oikawa. Together to Oikawa meant waking up by his side every morning, watching as the sun made shapes on his back, his fingers brushing over the curve of his lips. Together to Oikawa meant that he was Iwaizumi's. He wished that he didn't feel everything so intensely. He wished that he could stop wishing. He was so tired.

"I don't know." He breathed in through his nose. "I want..." he trailed off. His mind was full of cotton. So much cotton. He chewed on his lip and tightened his grip on his phone. "I want to see you. I always want to see you, Iwaizumi. But now like... this. This is..." Another breath. "Messy." 

"So you only want me to see you when you're okay?" Iwaizumi sounded tired. Or angry, Oikawa couldn't tell.

"I don't want you to pity me." 

"Pity you?!" He was angry. Definitely angry. "Oikawa I've known you since you were a little snot nosed kid, and I have _never_ pitied you. Have I ever been worried? Yes. Fuck yes I have, Oikawa. Because we've been friends for years and I _care_ about you-" Iwaizumi was talking louder than he ever had the entire call, "-you bastard. It's so easy to care about you. I'm trying to help you. Please let me help you."

Oikawa was crying again. He sniffled before saying, "Iwa-chan. You-" 

"I care about you," Iwaizumi said again, his voice hard. 

"I heard you-" 

"No, I mean... really, Oikawa. I care about you. A lot."

"Iwaizumi," Oikawa wiped his nose with the back of hand. "You're making me cry." 

"Sorry." They sat in silence for a moment. 

"Iwa-chan?" 

"Yeah?" 

Oikawa took a deep breath, his brain was filled to the brim with Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi, Iwaizumi, _Iwaizumi_. "I love you." He wanted to toss his phone across the room. His chest felt like it was going to burst. But he kept talking, "I meant what I said earlier. That you're amazing. That I want our future to be together. At this point I don't care what kind of together. I just... really fucking want to be by your side." He pressed his nails into his palm, focusing on the sting and not the effect his words could have. He tried not to focus on the stretch of silence between his words and Iwaizumi's, or the fact that the only reason he was admitting this was that it was nearly dawn and that he had practically no impulse control. 

"You love me?" Oikawa couldn't read Iwaizumi's voice. It felt like the cotton in his brain had spread around him. Like the world had been filled with water. He hummed in response. "Good." Oikawa stared at the ceiling, his chest kept tightening. 

"Good?" 

"Yeah," Iwaizumi said, his voice cracking around the word. "Yeah. That's what I meant, right? I care about you. I love you. Same shit." 

Oikawa sat up and pulled his knees to his chest. "When I said that I meant it like-" 

"I know what you meant, asshole." Iwaizumi let out a short laugh. "I meant mine too." 

Oikawa let out a shaky breath of relief. " _Oh._ " 

"Yeah... Oh." 

Oikawa tugged on the fabric of his pajama pants. "That's good." Happy tears began to slide down his face. 

They sat together in silence for a few minutes, neither knowing what to say. Finally, Iwaizumi spoke, "It's late." 

Oikawa pulled the phone away from his ear and saw the time. 5:21. "Yeah, shit," he said into the phone. "We should go to sleep." 

"Yeah, okay. Goodnight then, Oikawa." 

"Goodnight, Iwa-chan." He ran a hand through his hair. "I love you." 

There was a soft laugh from Iwaizumi. "I love you, too, idiot." 

Oikawa pressed End Call and dropped the phone onto his lap. He fell back against his pillow, his eyes trained on the ceiling. A smile grew onto his face. His chest felt full again. _I love you, too, idiot._ He pulled his blankets up and over himself, clicking on his phone, his smiling growing larger at the sight of his lockscreen. "Goodnight, Iwa-chan," he said again, his voice soft and warm. 

**Author's Note:**

> AAAAAAAAAA thanks for reading ily
> 
> comments/kudos appreciated!!
> 
> tumblr: transiwa


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